Episode 67 – It’s not Motivation you need with Darren Kirby
00:00:14 What is Motivation?
00:05:19 Why is it not Motivation we need?
00:07:23 Taking action
00:10:40 Consistency is the Key
00:12:44 Connect with Darren
Welcome to the Fitter Healthier Dad Podcast, where you can learn how to improve your diet, lose fat and get fitter in a sustainable and fun way without spending hours in the gym. Here’s your host, Darren Kirby.
Darren: Welcome back to the podcast, guys. This is the number one podcast for dads in their 40s who want to improve their health and fitness. This is episode 67. And in today’s episode, it’s a solo show. And I’m going to be talking about the popular topic of motivation and why it’s not motivation that you need. So let’s talk about this ever popular topic of motivation is something which is bandied around and talked about so much in fitness and nutrition. And people really get caught up on this. Right? They really struggle. The amount of messages I get from people in the community on emails, on direct messages around the fact that they know they want to get fit, they know they want to get healthy, but they just really struggle with motivation.
And the reason I want to bring this up is at the time of recording in October, 2020, we are just at the cusp where we’re entering into the winter season. So I noticed this morning, for example, is much, much colder now. It’s much fresher in the morning. The mornings are darker. More often than not, in the U.K., it’s raining. And so this whole concept around motivation is massive and it often stops people actually doing what they want to do. It stops people achieving what they want to actually achieve.
So first off, what is motivation? Well, it’s this kind of feeling, I guess we get that. We actually want to do something. We want to achieve something. We set ourselves a target and then we set off on the fitness nutrition journey. So we’re either going to the gym, we’re doing some workouts or intending some classes. And then the other side to it is obviously the nutrition side of it. Right. So you’re motivated to start eating better. I’m not going to use the words of eating clean and all that because this is a marketing term, although it does have some relevance in the sense that the concept of eating clean is that you’re not eating food, which is bad for you. I guess it’s not about superfoods or anything like that, but essentially it’s about, you know, eating foods that are not processed and the rest of it.
But I’m not going to go off there on a tangent. We’re talking about motivation. So it’s motivation to actually, you know, start something. But I think more importantly, people associate motivation with keeping going. And I always say that motivation will get you started, but it actually won’t keep you going. But what do I mean by that? Well, what I mean is that, you know, you get this feeling that you’re going to do something positive, right? So you’re motivated to do it because you can see that you can visualize the result in six weeks time or in 12 weeks time, you’re going to have lost X amount of pounds. You’re going to feel better. You’re going to have a six pack and all the rest of it. And then that’s great. So that gives you the kind of impetus to start and say you crack on and you get started, you’re full of enthusiasm and you go out for your first run or you go to the gym or you do a HIIT workout and everything is sweet, everything is really going well. And, you know, yeah, you just carry on, but then life gets in the way. And this is a cold, harsh reality.
So whether or not that’s, you know, challenges at home. You’ve got so much you’re juggling so much that the relationship with your spouse, you’ve got the kids, you’ve got a career. So you’re constantly juggling stuff. Right. And that’s when you start to struggle, when you’ve maybe said to yourself, what I’m going to do at this time or I’m going to have this meal and something happens in the day that kind of derails that. Right.
So instantly you’re demoralized because it’s like it’s got in the way from your plan. And as humans, we don’t like change. Right. And when change happens, it derails us. And so motivation at that point kind of diminishes. It wanes. You know, you don’t feel like doing it because you’ve been derailed from when you were supposed to be doing it. So that’s why, you know, the purpose really of today’s episode is to really delve into motivation and how it’s I think it’s very much overused. And I did a Facebook live on this in our community last week, which is what prompted me to actually do this episode today.
And that is I truly believe that is not motivation you need, it’s actual action. And that really sounds quite simplified. But it is when you break it down and think about it. Right. So motivation is the emotion that will get you started, but you see action that will get you the results. Right. So as an example, the Facebook life that I did last week into the community, I did it because I had gone up at about six o’clock on a Sunday morning.
At that time, it had been raining the whole weekend. And I call Sunday my run day. So that’s when I do my running. And it’s generally a long run and is generally at least a two hour run. And I got up and it was six, six o’clock in the morning. It was dark. And then I could just hear the rain outside. So I was like, oh my God, I know if there’s going to be rain, it’s going to be cold. I’m going to get soaking wet. I’m going to be miserable.
So at that point, like, my motivation is non-existent. But the last thing that I want to be doing at that point is actually going outside in the dark, in the rain when it’s cold and doing a two hour run. It’s just could it be the thing that I’d like to do the least at that point? And so I recorded the video because if you’re at that stage and you’re in a similar situation where you it’s time to go to the gym, but it could be a similar scenario. Right. The weather outside is rubbish. And at that point, your motivation is gone. It’s disappeared. You’re not even thinking about your beach body, your six pack abs. You’re losing your bare belly, your belly fat or all the rest of it that’s gone out the window. Or you’re thinking about that stage. I’ve got to go out to either go to the gym or do a HIIT workout or go running. And that is the last thing that I want to do at that stage.
So motivation is gone, is out the window. You can’t rely on that anymore. So that’s what I say. How how important action is, so action is important because you need to actually start moving, put one foot in front of the other to actually start moving forward, to start your run or your exercise and to ultimately get to the position where you want to get to, you know, health wise, fitness wise and the rest of it.
And so, coming back to my example, I did not feel like going out, running, I had no motivation. This is why I say that health and fitness and losing weight and getting fitter is a massive mindset gain. And this might sound a bit strange and a little bit crazy, but you actually have to have a little internal conversation with yourself. As to why you’re actually doing what you’re doing.
So to give you an example, and I’ve used this method for years and it’s served me very, very well. So as an example, you know, like I said, motivation is gone. I don’t want to go out running at six thirty on a cold Sunday morning. However, I play that forward and I say to myself, okay, so I don’t want to go out and I’m going to be miserable for the first 2K I run.
And it’s actually up out of the hill where I live to go into like the woods where I run is a big hill as I run out the town and it’s wet and it’s raining. And I know for the first two kilometers I will be miserable as hell and I’ll be questioning myself as to why I’m doing it. But before I go out, I’m playing to myself in my mind. Okay, so what am I going to feel like for the rest of Sunday when I get back? How am I going to feel? Well, when I get back, I’m going to be cold and wet for one. However, my serotonin or my endorphins have kicked in. And actually, despite being called away, I feel pretty good when I’ve come back from a run for a number of different reasons. Like I just said, the hormonal reasons, the psychological reasons, you know, your body’s been woken up, your metabolism revved up. So there’s a whole host of benefits that you get for actually just taking the action.
So rather than just relying on the motivation, actually taking the action is what will get you where you want to get to or ultimately it will get you where you want to get to. Justice for that individual session, if you like, that will just get you one step further, closer.
And so this kind of kicks into a little bit of consistency as well, which I won’t go too much into on this episode of the podcast. But consistency is key because if you consistently say to yourself, oh, can’t I still feel like it today, I’m just not going to bother, over time obviously, that will compound to the fact that you actually are not going to get anywhere.
But if you consistently say to yourself and just take each session as it comes and have this internal conversation with yourself about just doing it, taking action and moving forward, what that means if you stay consistent, you actually will start to achieve your results in six, eight, 12 weeks, whatever, whatever target you’ve set yourself.
So I just want to kind of reiterate that how it’s not motivation, motivation is a feeling that we get when we want to achieve something. And it really fires us up to actually get started. But unfortunately, motivation does not keep us going for the scenario that I’ve just explained. So it’s about taking the action, whether or not you want to do it, if you’re really committed to the outcome, to the ultimate objective that you’re striving for, whether that’s losing your belly fat, losing your beer belly, you know, losing a bit of weight, toning up, whatever that may be, whatever your you know why your goal is.
He’s just taking that action consistently that will actually get you there. Yes, it is nice to have motivation. We all want to have motivation. We want to have that feeling that we can achieve something that we’re actually going to finally get rid of this thing or achieve this goal that we’ve been talking about with our mates and with our families for so long.
And that’s great. And that will give you, like I said, the impetus to get started, but it won’t keep you going. So it’s action. So really, the message what I’m trying to put across today is actually taking the action is what is going to get your results and then staying consistent with that and then having these little conversations, having these little mind games with yourself, which actually gets you out the door, gets you to whatever session it is you’re going to. And then when you come back, I absolutely guarantee you that you will feel ten times better, both mentally, physically, than when you went out.
So I really hope that that helps you guys. I really hope it motivates you to actually take the action. And for those of you that are perhaps listening for the first time, I’ve got some free resources over at fitterhealthierdad.com, which will really help depending on where you’re at. So we’ve got a five day challenge and you get an email for five days and that will have a food challenge and it will have a workout for you. Or we’ve got a 14 day fat loss kick start where again for 14 days you have your complete training plan and your complete meal plan. And that’s free. Over at fitterhealthierdad.com. And then the next step up from there is to do the 90 10 transformation challenge.
So we’ve got a 30 day challenge and a 90 day challenge where, you know, for those 30 and 90 days, everything is mapped out for you. So literally, all you have to do is follow the plan and you get the results that you desire. So I hope that helps guys. And I look forward to speaking to you on the next solo episode.
But if you have any questions, if you’re watching this on YouTube, please put it down in the comments below. If there are any topics you’d like me to talk about, if you listen to this on iTunes, please go to iTunes and give us a five star review. And yet, thank you very much for your support. And I look forward to seeing you all again soon.
Thanks for listening to the Fitter Healthier Dad Podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please hit subscribe. And I would really appreciate it if you could leave a review on iTunes, all the things mentioned in the episode will be in the show notes and a full transcription is over at fitterhealthierdad.com.