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Darren Kirby

Episode 49- Dads Are You Being Honest?

Episode Highlights

00:00:14 Introduction
00:00:52 About The Video “Are You Being Honest?”
00:03:27 Being On A Milestone
00:05:10 Tips and Advice to Lose Weight
00:06:41 Track Your Diet00:08:27 Subtle Issues
00:09:58 Benefits of Being Fitter and Healthier
00:13:24 Reflective Perspective
00:14:34 The 14 Day Fat Loss Kickstart Program
00:16:08 The Value of Consistency Creates Great Results


Links

Transcript

Welcome to the Fitter Healthier Dad Podcast, where you can learn how to improve your diet, lose fat and get fitter in a sustainable and fun way without spending hours in the gym. Here is your host. Darren Kirby.

Darren:  Welcome back to the podcast, guys. This is the number one podcast 

For dads in their 40s who want to improve their health and fitness. This is Episode 49. And in today’s show, it’s a solo episode and it’s been prompted off the back of a Facebook live I did a few weeks ago. And it was titled “Are You Being Honest?”. Now, It prompted such a reaction from Facebook. They also wanted to address the topic on the podcast as well. So I thought that was a good opportunity for me to do a solo episode addressing the topic. So let’s dive in.

And really the title of the video that I did was “Are You Being Honest?” And it was around you know, we all like to think that we are active enough. And we chase the kids around. And so therefore, you know, fitness, an exercise is done whilst we are chasing the kids around the garden or looking after them, or maybe we’re even running around at work. You know, maybe you have a physical job, which means you’re up and down all day on your own. You’re kind of either carrying heavy things or you’re moving around a lot. But then, you know, there’s a lot. You hear a lot of talk. And this was kind of the reason why I wanted to address the topic. Really. You hear a lot of talk with particularly men that are 40 and above saying, well, you know, I’m active all day. I move around, I’m chasing the kids. And, you know, I don’t understand why I’m putting weight on. I don’t understand why I’m carrying a belly now. I just want to really make a big point here. This is no judgment or criticism about anybody listening to this it’s just purely the objective of just maybe just thinking about things a little bit differently, because I also did another video around genetics and around the fact that sometimes we can use the excuse of genetics as to the reason why, you know, dads in their 40s, I have a belly on them or that they’re carrying a bit of weight. But it’s, you know, it’s neither of those things. So really, the question around “Are You being honest?” was really to just kind of stop and make you think about the fact that, you know, if you are unhappy with where you are in terms of, you know, the amount of weight, you carry or fat or you just think that you are eating healthy, but then, you know, you’re still carrying excess weight or you may have been to the doctors and the doctors have said that you’ve got a high BMI or you’re carrying a little bit way and you look at yourself when you think, well, actually, I’m not too bad. You know, there’s other men out there that are worse than me. So it is kind of really asking yourself that question. Are you actually being honest with yourself and or are you using where you are currently as an excuse as to why you can’t lose weight.

Now. Hopefully, people that listen to this are at the position where they’ve kind of realized that perhaps in either not where they want to be physically, they’re either not whether they want to be from a weight perspective, from a fat perspective or, you know, other other things, really. Right. But those are the main kind of areas. But the problem with it is when we get over 40, things start slowing down. Right. So obviously psychologically we hit this big 4-0. And, you know, you kind of it’s almost like you have this reflective state. You say that. Okay, well, I’ve hit 40 now. You know, I’m in it kind of. I’ve got halfway through my life or most people use it as a milestone for being halfway through their life. You know, I’m supposed to be in this condition at my age, you know. I’m starting to slow down now. You know, I’m built for comfort, not for speed as it is a classic one that’s used in the UK. And you know what? If that is what you genuinely feel, fantastic. You crack on. You know, you carry on with the way you’re at. But the majority of us are having these subconscious conversations with ourselves. And, you know, men look at themselves in the mirror. Just like women do. Don’t think for one minute that men don’t take their tops off. They look in the mirror and they think, blimey, you know, Darren, you’re carrying a bit here. what’s going on here? Ah, well, it’s all right, because, you know, I move around a bit and, you know, I’ve got kids now, so, you know, I don’t really need to to have a six pack.

This my point is not having a six pack. That is not what I’m about. That is not what this podcast episode is about. But it’s about just stopping and thinking. Could you actually, by putting a little bit of effort in actually lose a bit of fat. So that’s number one, putting effort in. Number two, you know, being aware. So psychologically being aware of where you’re at. And number three is actually, you know, looking at your diet now, diet is massive. I always advocate it’s an 80 20 principle, Right. So it’s 80 percent diet and it’s 20 percent exercise. If you get your diet right pretty much 80 percent of the time before you even get into fitness or exercise or walking or whatever it is you feel inclined to do. You can drop weight. You can drop fat before you start doing that. Now, again, a lot of the conversations are on par or over here are men saying, well, you know why? Hopefully I don’t need this. I don’t need that. The challenge that we have as just general consumers and this is not just men, that is food companies, food production and everything counts has put things in food which aren’t, quite frankly, good for us.

And unfortunately, as consumers, we’ve been conditioned so that when we see something on a packet which either says be fit and healthy or it’s good for you, or the new trend is vegan, everyone seems to be gravitating towards vegan now because it’s environmentally, if that’s your thing. Fantastic. Fully support that. But there’s lots of unhealthy vegan foods out there. And the things I’m talking about are things like hidden and manufactured sugars, which are not called sugars on the packet and also things like fats. And I don’t mean good and healthy fats. And that’s another topic for another time. I’m talking about manufactured poly unsaturated fats, which are, quite frankly, toxic. They’re toxic not just from a weight and fat perspective, but they’re toxic from a long term health perspective. And again, that’s another topic that we can raise at a later date. So what I meant where I’m going with this is that you might think you’re eating healthily, but unless you’ve tracked your diet, I would largely guess that the majority view, unfortunately, aren’t because of what’s in mass produced food, unless you are eating a nutrient dense natural diet. What I mean by that is foods which are or have not gone for a food process and you have been unconsciously consuming stuff that you if you had a choice, you wouldn’t consume. So.

Being honest with yourself on your diet is very, very important for actually starting to lose a bit of weight. Now, the other side to it is, whilst I am I’ve mentioned around the six pack, and that’s not what I’m about. Again, men are concerned about their appearance just as much as women are now. But up until this point or up until a few years ago, it’s not been socially acceptable for men to actually come out and say that they’re not happy with their appearance or they’re not happy with their weight. You know, it’s been kind of brushed under the carpet and you don’t want to talk about it. The last thing you talk about with your mates when you go out either for a meal or when you go out socially is, you know, about putting a few pounds on, you know, off the arm. What am I going to do about it, about this, you know? But women, ladies, that’s a common conversation that they have. The other thing, though, which is more important, really, and that is, unfortunately, I come across a lot of men who are particularly mid 40s, who actually are aware of a little bit of the problem in terms of a bit of excess weight, a bit of excess fat. But the catalyst for them doing something about it is not until they have a health scare. So that could be something like high cholesterol.

That could be something like pre-diabetes or even type two diabetes. And it’s only when that happens. Do I find people really actually making a change. So rather than getting to that point, I would really kind of urge you to kind of, like I said, be honest with yourself. Look at where you’re at. And again, I want to reiterate, this is not so that you can get yourself a six pack so you can start doing triathlon or Ironman or extreme sports or anything like that. This is just about losing a bit fat, losing about a weight for general health. And also, you know, when you are active with the children, you know, and this used to happen to me, you’d be running around with them. And kids have an abundance of energy that will never run out of energy, you know, until they literally flake out on the floor and you might get hot and sweaty, you might get irritated, you know, because you are carrying around a little bit of excess, excess weight and fat. You might not be able to be as active with them as you would like. Also, you know, the other side to it is it you can tell yourself this story that you don’t have the energy, you don’t have the inclination to actually either get fitter and healthier or run around with the kids because you’ve had a heavy week at work or you’re very tired mentally. And what I will say to that is that when you are fitter and healthier, that does not happen. You have an abundance of energy. And this thing about being tired and lying on the sofa. And you’ve had a mentally hard week at work. It just doesn’t happen. Now, I’m not saying for one minute that, you know, mentally we don’t get fatigued because we absolutely do. But what I’m saying is, when you are fitter and healthier, when your mitochondria in your body, which is the little energy plants in the cells, are all being regenerated, and that happens through doing exercise, you do naturally have an abundance of energy. And so coming back to my original question really is, are you being honest with yourself? It was literally just off the basis of really getting people to stop and reflect and just ask yourself that question instead of having these silent conversations with yourself when you are looking in the mirror and coming up with all these excuses now. Like I said in the beginning, you may all be happy with where you are and if you are. I absolutely applaud that. I think that’s fantastic. I think that’s a great position to be. But if you’re not just having a reflection as to whether or not you are, because there are simple things and changes you can make to actually change things like that. And just one final point I want to pick up on, and that is this clearly is an issue for people, because when I did my Facebook live video and then we put it out and we advertised the video out on Facebook, I was absolutely shocked and horrified as to the actions.

And the response is always to get into the video. So what I take from that is that it clearly rattled a few people and none of what the questions I raise are ever meant to be disrespectful. They’re never, ever meant to be, you know, to cause any upset to people. It’s just literally to kind of reflect. And it’s important sometimes that we reflect. And it’s only sometimes when people externally maybe raise a question or ask a question that we perhaps haven’t heard before or perhaps haven’t thought of it in that light. Does it actually make you stop? And I really think that’s a good thing. I don’t necessarily think that’s a bad thing. So, you know, ask yourself, are you happy when you, when you’re looking at yourself through photos? If you’re happy. Fantastic. If you’re not, that can be changed. We can change that. It’s not too much of a bigger change to me from a place where, you know, you may be not that happy with your physique, where you’re not happy with your underlying health. And we can change that in as little as about 14 days.

So during this corona-virus situation that we’ve been facing since March, you know, I was with people being at home, with gyms being shut, I was racking my brains as to how I could, you know, help people during these times and how I could, you know, give give someone a kickstart if they really wanted to make that change. And that was why I developed the 14 day fat loss Kickstart program, which is a free program that you can download over at 14day.fitterhealthierdad.com. And it’s basically a real cut down version of my new actually 90 day program that I’m going to be launching to really get people some result in a short space of time. Because the other challenge that we have around health and fitness is that for long term changes to become effective, it has to be done consistently over a period of time. And the challenges that we face nowadays is time is our biggest, biggest challenge. You know, we don’t have enough of it. We always want more hours in the day. And by me creating that 14 day fat loss Kickstart program, it was literally with the objective of getting people some real quick results within 14 days. It doesn’t finish after 14 days, obviously. But what I was trying to help people do is in 14 days and whilst, you have perhaps you have more time at home.

I don’t think everybody has more time at home. But, you know, maybe you’re cutting out the commute. Maybe you’re not spending hours and hours in the car because you have to stay home. Is using that time. If you really, really wanted to make a change to just implement the 14 day fat loss kick start. And that really is very easy, simple, actionable information that you can implement in the workouts at 12 to 15 minutes a day. The recipes are, you know, anywhere between 15 and 20 minutes to create. So, you know, in less than an hour, a day on within 14 days, you can start to really see some changes. And more importantly than the aesthetic side of things is that you will start to feel that you have more energy. You know, you have this cloud that’s lifted and you maybe don’t feel so lethargic. So, yeah, that’s that’s really it for today, guys. That’s really what I wanted to come on and address because I had such a reaction on social media. But I would really appreciate your thoughts and comments on this. You know, like I said, none of this is meant to offend anybody, but it’s really their touch. You make you just stop and just think and realize that you can actually make simple changes. My opinion of the fitness nutrition industry, particularly for us males, you know, 40 plus is that is why it’s you know, it’s overly complicated and it’s overly complicated.

So they can sell either products, supplements and things like that where it doesn’t have to be like that. Simple, consistent action will get you some results and. Yeah, that’s that’s really what I wanted to share today. So I hope that’s been useful. I’d really appreciate it. You can email me Darren with the double “R” at fitterhealthierdad.com You can connect with me on social media. So on the Facebook page, fitter healthier dad, Instagram fitter healthier dad. And obviously over on, on the website you can download some of our free guides. But if you want the 14 day targeted program, if you go to 14 day dot. Healthy dad dot com. You can download your copy and for each day for 14 days, you will get an email dedicated to tell you exactly what it is you need to eat and do on a daily basis. And there’s a 14 day calendar in there to let you just go for exactly what you’re told to do every single day. And you definitely will see some results and changes providing you stick to it. So if you want to connect with me, like I said, you can email me, connect with me on social issues. And I would really appreciate it if you did find this useful, if you could leave me a review on I. And I look forward to speaking to you again next week. Cheers, guys.

Thanks for listening to the Fitter Healthier Dad Podcast. If you enjoy today’s episode, please subscribe. And I would really appreciate it if you could leave a review on iTunes or other things mentioned in the upside will be in the show notes and a full transcription is over at Fitter Healthier Dad Podcast.

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