Episode 62 – 3 Most Asked Questions About Dads Weight Loss And Fitness With Darren Kirby
00:00:14 Introduction: Three Most Commonly Asked Questions by Dads
00:01:59 Finding Time for Fitness and Nutrition
00:09:09 Find Your Motivation
00:14:21 Importance of Diet
00:16:06 Recap on Calorie Deficit
00:18:47 Be Extra Careful on Processed Food Contents
00:21:52 In-Depth on Weight
00:23:58 Summary the Episode
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Welcome to the Fitter Healthier Dad Podcast, where you can learn how to improve your diet, lose fat and get fitter in a sustainable and fun way without spending hours in the gym is your host Darren Kirby.
Darren: Welcome back to the podcast, guys. This is the number one podcast for dads in their 40s who want to improve their health and fitness. This is Episode 62. And in today’s episode, I want to address the three most commonly asked questions by dads around getting fit and losing weight. So let’s dove in.
So these questions that come up frequently, really, when we’re speaking to our community, we’re emailing dads to ask them what their biggest challenges are. So I thought it’d be quite useful because if you know, the large majority of questions that are being asked, very similar, then undoubtedly a lot of people listening to this will also have those same questions.
So the first question really is, well, it’s not so much a question. It’s more about a statement, I guess. And that is that, you know, we’re very busy and that is the reality of life. Unfortunately, we are all very busy, you know, making sure that the family is okay, making sure that we can hold down a job and just dealing with all of the trials and tribulations that life throws at us.
And so for many people, you know, the thought of actually then adding in, you know, paying attention to their fitness, paying attention to their nutrition and overall health is one which is, can sometimes feel overwhelming, but also can feel like that’s not a priority right now. And, you know, my view is that that needs to be made a priority. But for people listening to this, it will be maybe some people might say, well, it’s okay for me and all the rest of it.
But, you know, I took a decision a long time ago that I needed to pay attention to my health. And I am still busy and probably more busy than I’ve ever been. And so there’s various different ways in which we can put more emphasis on fitness and nutrition without it getting in the way of everything else that we’ve got going on.
And that’s really the premise on which I created Fitter, Healthier Dad was because, you know, I realized that, like me, lots of other dads are in the same situation and they just don’t feel like they have the time.
So really, it’s, there’s a number of different ways that you can slice and dice it and kind of have a look at this really. And one is that the misconception, I believe, is that the fitness industry, sell us on this fact that we have to have a gym membership, we have to go to a place to work out to get fit. And generally the kind of thing that’s been set is it needs to be for an hour.
Well, you don’t need to do any of those things. So first off, around timing, you know, you can get a really effective workout in by doing a workout anywhere between 12 to 18 minutes, depending on how experienced you are. And so. There, you might well say that, well, I don’t have time in the day because you have to consider as well what’s the work will only be 12 to 18 minutes.
You go get ready and you go get dressed again, go get showered, hopefully, if you’ve you’ve worked out hard enough. And so really, when you look at it, it’s actually going to take you about half an hour.
So when do you do that? If you have kids, you have a career, you have a commute and all the rest of it, then sometimes it’s not feasible to do it in the morning. Although I would advocate, depending on what kind of person you are.
And what I mean by that is whether you’re a morning person or an evening person, and that is get up earlier in the morning and particularly, you know, in the UK as we get into this time of year, autumn is kicking in.
The mornings are darker. It’s harder to get out of bed. But if you start forming that habit of getting up 30 minutes earlier, you then can fit in the 12 to 18 minute workout and it will enable you to obviously get ready and still get showered at the end of it.
The second thing is and I spoke about this on another recent podcast, and that is scheduling in your workout. So putting them in a calendar to make sure they are in your day and you either do them when they’re scheduled or you move them to a time in the day when you have got that 30 minutes.
And you while some people might be a lot of people might be at home right now. And so that might be that slight bit easier to be able to fit these in if you are in an office. You know, the majority of offices nowadays either have, you know, showers and things like that. But if you know, if they don’t, then, you know, you can there’s many you can use a towel.
You can use wet wipes and stuff like that to wipe yourself down after you’ve done the workout. If you’re going to do it in the office, if you work in an office in the city, there’s many, many, you know, green spaces where you can go to do a workout on the workout. So I subscribe in the the 90 day transformation, you can do them anywhere.
You don’t need a massive amount of space. Equally, if you’re doing them at home, you can do them in the kitchen. You can do in the garden, you can do them in the lounge provided you put some heat down.
So in terms of busy-ness and not being able to fit the men, if you really take the time and if you are really committed to getting fitter, I would advocate you really taking the time to have a look, you know, track your week or track a few days to understand where you could potentially fit in 30 minutes.
And I can guarantee you, if you do take the time to plan this out, you will realize that whilst you are still very busy, I’m not saying that you’re not you definitely will be able to find the time to fit this in.
So anybody listening to this podcast today who thinks that they are too busy for fitness, please. Please. Follow the advice that I’ve just given, sit down, look at your schedule and find out where you can carve out 30 minutes in the day.
So that could either be getting up earlier in the morning. It could be at lunch time at work. It doesn’t have to be set periods in a day. So, you know, it could be you have on half an hour gap between meetings or something like that in the day and then in the evening, you know, evenings are probably for dads one of the biggest kind of contentious times, because particularly when you come home, that is family time.
And that’s why the way it should be, you know, your ,you haven’t seen the kids all day. You have to see your partner all day. So that’s your time to spend with them, which is great. And then, you know, particularly if you’ve got young kids, you generally have dinner and bath time and then you put them to bed. And then unfortunately for a lot of us, it then means that we’re sitting down and starting work again, maybe doing an hour’s worth of work.
So in the evenings, maybe in between, when the kids go to bed and you have to start working again, you could fit in that little bit of half an hour to do to do that work out. And again, if you schedule it in, you are more inclined to actually do that work out.
And once you’ve got it, this is a big mindset thing around busyness. Once you’ve got it set in your mind that that’s when you’re going to do your workout, then you’re more inclined to do it. The other thing is I understand that life throws challenges at us. And if there’s a if there’s a day where, you know, something’s happened in the evening and you can’t fit in your work out, then that’s fine.
You know, you just move it to another day or you actually moved your rest day and you just say, okay, right, today is going to be my rest day. So I’m going to have this is a rest. I can’t do more work out. So I’m going to have this as a rest day.
So those are the few very, very simple areas and strategies that I would recommend that you look at if you’re if you have this feeling that you are too busy to work out. And like I said, you know, I’m a massive advocate of short, high intensity workouts because when we look at it and in the context of weight loss and fat loss, they are the most effective workouts that you can do.
So, number two, in the top three questions is motivation. I get a lot of messages from people who say I just can’t seem to get motivated. You know, I’ve lost the motivation to want to work out, but I do want to lose weight. And what I say to that is that motivation will get you started. Motivation won’t keep going. And so it’s about finding out what really lights you up.
So it might not be a high intensity bodyweight workout. It might well be a high intensity sprint. It might well be a high intensity swimming or high intensity cycling. You know, it could be any number of various different exercise protocols. And there are so many that you can do and you can apply the methodology to them.
And so with that and motivation, I would highly recommend you think about and just try various different things, really, which, you know, to see if you enjoy them, because if you don’t find something that you enjoy, you won’t stay consistent on it.
And if you don’t stay consistent and you won’t get the results, it’s quite simple. So there is no point in either dragging yourself to a gym, dragging yourself to a class or whatever, you know, latest fat exercise there is.
If you don’t enjoy, if you don’t enjoy it, you won’t stay motivated. I’d say that’s the biggest area, I would say, around motivation and staying motivated.
And for me, you know, that was I always like the gym and I still like working out. But once I had the sport that I’m into, which is triathlon, I had that. That was the motivation for me to do all the other bits, because I knew that, you know, if I didn’t train and work out that when I went to an event, I wouldn’t perform at my best. And I always want to perform at my best and get the best result that I can possibly get.
And so that’s the other thing. You know, you might well decide that, you know, you want to run your first parkrun, you want to do your first five K or you want to do your first 10K, or you want to do an obstacle course race like Tough Mudder when we’re able to do that to do those. So that might be your motivation. That might be the reason why you are doing these hit workouts.
Six o’clock in the morning or six, six o’clock in the evening, so it’s about understanding what it is you’re looking to achieve, it could be a weight loss goal as well. So it could well be that you have decided for a particular anniversary whether that be your personal anniversary, whether that be a life anniversary, that you want to be a certain way or you want to be in a certain state in terms of fitness by that date.
And that might motivate you. So, you know, those are the things you can add in rather than just saying, right, I want to lose weight and I’m going to do hit workouts. For some people that might work, but for a lot of others it doesn’t.
And you have to have this goal, this reason why to kind of keep you motivated, because on the days when you don’t want to get out of bed because it is cold and it is outside, you can have these mind conversations with yourself and you can say to yourself, right, I’ve got this goal of losing this weight by this day.
If I don’t get up this morning and do this workout, that’s one less workout that’s going to stop me from getting to where I want to get to. So it’s very much having those conversations with yourself.
And, you know, listening to this, you might think, well, that’s a bit crazy. But I can guarantee you we all have that internal self talk. We all have those conversations with ourselves. So it’s just about priming your brain and also, you know, not willing yourself, but priming your brain so that, you know, it makes it that little bit more easy.
I’m not going to say it’s easy, but easier to actually accomplish. And the other thing that I use is, you know, I’ll be honest, I frequently feel unmotivated to work out, but when I’m doing it, I like it. But more importantly, when I finished, that is when I get the real benefits because my mood is lifted.
I have way more energy and I feel much better throughout the day. So I wait. Those are the kind of mind games I have with myself. I’m not. If I open the door at six o’clock on a Sunday morning and it’s absolutely howling down with rain and I just think there’s no way I want to do this run.
I always play it forward to think about what am I going to feel like when I come back. Yes, I’ll be cold. Yes, I’ll be well. I have way more energy and I’ll feel way more better for the day. So that’s that’s a point on motivation.
And then the other biggest one is this generic term about losing weight. I want to lose weight or I want to lose five pounds. I want to lose a stone. You know, those are the general questions I get asked. You know, how do I do that?
And, you know, if anybody’s looked at the nine to ten transformation challenges, I make it quite clear that the way you will get your biggest results from will come from diet. And there are some really basic things you can start with before you get into the in *inaudible*. I can’t even pronounce that and details around it. And the first thing really is portion sizes. And that is, you know, we and I’m as guilty of this as anybody.
We eat way too much. Our plates are very big, you know, we perhaps come, you know, when we’re cooking our dinner, we think we are hungrier than we are because we could be dehydrated and that that could lead us to perceive that we are hungry when actually, you’re not , you’re just dehydrated.
So I would, you know, really advocate looking at the sizes of food that you and I frequently have to stop myself, particularly with evening meals of having a meal, which is way, way bigger than what I need so that, you know, I don’t kind of spiral back up to the corner or gain the 61 pounds or I’ve lost. So portion sizes is a big thing.
And then the other side to it is, you know, again, I’ve spoken about this on a recent podcast, but I will caveat what I’m going to say, and that’s calorie deficit. Now, the caveat that I want to add to this is that caloric deficit, i.e., eating less calories than you have done previously, will only work for a while.
And, you know, it will work initially for you to lose that initial amount of weight and then slowly you will plateau and you won’t get so much benefits from being in calorie deficit.
The other really important thing about caloric deficit, and that is I’ve seen this on social media fairly recently and it’s quite alarming insomuch as people go way too far with this. And the general science behind it is that if you are an average male, consume in the recommended calorie intake for a male, which is two and a half thousand calories, when you decide to being calorie deficit, you want to be in deficit by 19 percent.
This is what studies and scientists have all shown to be the most optimal deficit amount. The problem with going way more than that is that the body, if it doesn’t get enough nutrients, enough macronutrients and macronutrients, meaning proteins, fats and carbohydrates, if you’re not giving you enough to survive what hit what the body perceives enough to survive, it will go into starvation mode.
And what that means is you might think that you’re going to lose a huge amount of weight by cutting your calories by 1000 calories. But actually, the body will go into starvation mode and it will act like it’s under threat and it will actually start to store all of the nutrients you’re giving it because it will think that it’s not going to get anything else.
It’s in kind of fight or flight mode. And as a result, you can actually end up gaining more weight and more fat as a result of that. So that’s once you have been in calorie deficit, I would say for around two to three weeks at 19 percent.
You then have to look at your macronutrients. So the ratio of proteins to carbohydrates, to fats and I talk about this, I think is in another episode, it might even be Episode 61, the one before this can have a listen to that.
So, yeah, that that’s the two things around losing weight. The third and final thing, which is really, really basic. And it is actually come up in the community as a result of the five day challenge that we’ve recently done, and that is processed food. And what I mean by that is not junk food.
I just mean everyday foods that you buy off the shelf of a supermarket. Unfortunately for us consumers, we have we are constantly miss sold to buy food companies and food producers with regards to food.
And, you know, we’re being sold to that is healthy. It’s good for us and the rest of it when actually if you take the time to turn over the label, to turn over the products and look at the food label, you will see a high amount of fats in these foods, a high amount of sugars. And and with regards to sugar, the food manufacturers are very clever because there are 69 different names for sugar that they put in food.
And so why don’t you say sugar in the food? It might say all other different types of words, which you might not be familiar with. So I would advocate definitely looking at the ingredients in foods. You know, I was horrified this week, for example, I bought a loaf of bread that my son has for his lunch. And I turned it over and looked at the fact that it had it had sugar in it.
Add palm oil. And it had. Some kind of caramel additive in it to make it taste, you know, I guess sweeter, although, you know, I didn’t really imagine that bread needs to taste sweet, but that’s clearly what happens. And so my point around this is that that’s not going to help you lose weight. And the two biggest culprits for this are fats and sugar.
So on fat, we need fats and we need lots of fats in our diet, but we don’t need the manufactured vegetable fats. They’re highly inflammatory, really bad for the gut and are just really bad for us in general. And that will not help you lose weight. And then the second thing is sugar.
Sugar is in everything. And the problem with that is when the body takes it in and it digests it and it converts the sugar to glycogen to be stored in the muscles as energy when we have too much and the body can’t break that all down to store it as energy, it then gets turned to fat and then our body starts storing it as fat. So just by understanding what is in food, reading the food labels, you can actually make changes to your diet.
And without any exercise you will start to lose fat. Your body composition will change and improve. And then once you add in exercise to the mix, then you will start to see some significant changes with body composition and weight.
And one final thing I want to say on the topic of weight, and that is, again, the dietary and nutrition industries, I think have way too much emphasis on weight. weight is just a measure, a real high level measurement. And, you know, we are all different shapes and all different height. And so, you know, one, one guy’s , You know, I’m six foot nearly six foot four.
So my weight in comparison with somebody who’s five foot nine is obviously going to be very, very different. But my body composition could be very different from those two people from that other person. So and we could eat the same amount of diet. So it’s, it’s why is just a generic, I would say a generic measurement is a good indication as to whether or not you’re carrying too much.
But once you’ve got to, you know, a relatively , the relatively right weight for your height and size, then, you know, you then have to start again looking at your micronutrient intakes. And that will obviously affect body composition.
But it won’t necessarily affect overall weight because once you start to to build muscle, then, you know, your weight won’t necessarily go down, actually might go up, but your body composition might change significantly in that you will become a lot more muscular, but a lot more leaner, so less fat and more muscle. And I think that when the majority of does speak to me, that’s ideally what they want to do.
You know, they want to lose. Unfortunately for us men, all of our fat gets thrown around the lower part of our bellies. And the majority of us want to lose that really just to make us feel better about ourselves if we’re honest and esthetically to look better right as we are as we age. And so my point is that weight is just a small indicator of where you’re at. It’s not an overall measure of the progress you’ve made.
So those are the three things. Just to recap then, about busyness, you know, making sure that you are scheduling in, making sure you understand when the best time of the day is for you to train, you know, choosing workouts that are there are only 12 to 18 minutes. And, you know, they will give you a good, hard workout motivation.
Again, it’s about choosing something you like, understanding why you’re doing what you’re doing in terms of getting fitter and healthier and perhaps having a goal there. And then finally, you know, losing weight, 80 percent of your results will come from your diet.
And so making sure that, you know, your portion sizes are under control, that you are having, you know, not processed foods where possible.
And when you do understand what processed foods you have in making sure they don’t have the inflammatory vegetable oils and high amounts of of sugar in there and just buy those three things alone, you know, you will start to make some significant changes and you can quite easily and effectively achieve your goals even still, you know, whilst fitting in around the crazy, busy lives that we are now back to now. Lockdown is lifting.
So I really, really hope that helps if you have any further questions about what I’ve talked about today. Then feel free to send me a message on social media. So on the Facebook page or Instagram is all Fitter Healthier Dad dot com. You can email me Darren with a doubler at Fitter Healthier Dad dot com. And I’ll be more than happy to answer your questions if you want to check out some of my programs.
If you go to our website and in the top right hand corner, go to the ninety 10 transformation system, you go over to our page, which will show you the 30 day, 90, 10 challenge, the 90 day and then the 90 day with coaching or all at various different price points. And if you’re not, if you haven’t started before and you want to try, try out, you want to try some of my programs out, I have a free five day challenge and a free 14 day fat loss kick start as well.
And I just kind of give you an indication as to what goes on in the 90 10 transformation program. So I hope that helps. Guys, have a great week and I’ll look forward to speaking to you again soon.
Thanks for listening to the Fitter Healthier Dad Podcast. If you enjoyed today’s episode, please subscribe. And I would really appreciate it if you could leave a review on iTunes or the things mentioned in the episode will be in the show notes and a full transcription is over at Fitter Healthier Dad Podcast.